Chapeter 7: Secrets revealed...next foe and!!!!!!! another ex-beau....could things get nemore interesting...plus love for a memeber of TFAK!

Well, my lovely dears...i've been holding this off for Mary and Amy because I didn't want them getting to behind. So now, they are here and I can continue my story. Love to all of you with last chapters great sucess. Thank you so much. I would like to thank the academy, god, my friends and family....

It had been a few days since our last battle, and I imagine that its because of this we became careless. Sesshomaru was still jealous of me and Jake, but slowly he was beginning to accept the fate that was to become us. Amy would not leave him alone and I felt bad for him. Who would want some ugly thing hitting on them? I wouldn't. Well, Amy will have her chance with someone, I'm sure. There has to be something in the world that could tolerate her and her braided armpit hair. We were setting up camp by a stream and I decided to go for a walk. I hadn't told anybody about who I really was or anything of that nature and it was getting harder to conceal it. "At the rate I'm going with all my ex boyfriends, I should end up meeting with...Him...my first love..." i thought as I splashed my face with water. When I did so, I smelled fresh blood in the air.
"Oh...shit...." I muttered, getting up and getting ready to defend myself. "WHOOOO ARE YOU!?!? WHO WHO WHO WHO???" I sang into the air, hoping that if it was a vampire, they'd run away because I was not in the mood for such reunions. Unfortunatly for me, I was wrong and a very handsome vampire came out of the brush with blood falling over his lips. He had on late 1700s clothing and his hair was long and blond. He reminded me of Lestat from Interview With the Vampire, but I knew that was not him. This vampire was Hanone, one of my greatest loves.
"K-Katsueki?" he asked, wiping the blood on his shirt sleeve. I nodded as I stared at him, he was exactly as I had remembered him all those years ago.
"I didn't think I'd run into you so soon." I said to him, dropping my defenses. Unfortunatly, Hanone didn't share the same sympathies as I did. He lunged at me, pinning me to a tree.
"You bitch!!! You dumped me for that god damned dog demon!!!! Are you two all husband wife-y now?!??!" he yelled, squeezing my neck as if it were a blade of grass.
"No!!! I broke up with him and...I'm engaged to someone else!" i said in a rush as my oxygen was being cut off. He suddenly dropped me and stared at me.
"You have broken the ancient code!!! you are NOT supposed to marry a human!!!" he yelled at me. "Do you know that THEY COULD KILL YOU FOR THIS!?!?" he was now no longer angry, he seemed concerned.
"I know...i've been in hiding. I changed my name to Rachel and I had fully planned on making Jake into a vampire when we were wed...but... until then, you must not breathe a word about me." I whispered, grabbing his arm.
"I will. I still love you, ya know. I'll do anything to protect you." He then kissed me on the lips and I pushed him back. The last time this happened, I ended up drunk and sexed up by someone who I wasn't even supposed to have met up with again(Sesshomaru).
"Don't...." i said. He nodded and then sniffed the air.
"I smell an enemy. You better be going back to the others. They will need you. We shall meet again, my fair lady." he said, bowing and kissing my hand. He then disappeared into the wind. I sighed and walked back to the camp. I missed him a lot sometimes, but Jake, he was my future now. No sooner had I returned to the camp sight than I saw what Hanone was speaking of.
"OMG!! RACHEL YOU'RE BACK!!!" yelled Amy as she dodged an attack from some of the most vile creatures on the planet. They were.....TELETUBBIES!!!
"Shit fuck!" I yelled as I pulled out the only weapon that I knew could truly vanquish the brainswashing fat lards, my ancient knife of the michigan lottery. I slashed at everything in my path, almost killing corey who was using his girlish scream attack to distract them while i stabbed them. Finally the only one left was the gay one, Tinky-Winky.
"You are no match for me and my fab handbag!" he said in a girly voice while he swung the handbag over his head. It was picking up speed and I couldn't keep track of it anymore and I was struck down by it. Just as Tinky-Winky was about to deliver the final blow, something stopped it and took the blow for me. I smelled the musty scent and knew who it was.
"HANONE!!!" I yelled as he fell to the ground.
"Do not worry, love!" he yelled, pushing me aside. "I'm better now!!" He then ran away into the trees
"Who was that great hunk of ass?" asked Amy, licking her chops.
"Nobody you'd wanna get mixed up with." I answered her, pushing her aside. Sesshomaru was looking betrayed.
"HEY! I dumped him for you, just so you know you ungrateful bastard." I yelled to sesshomaru as I walked by him.
"HOW MANY FUCKING EX BOYFRIENDS DO WE HAVE TO MEET!?!?" screamed Mary, obviously upset.
"As many as it takes, I guess. And believe me, there are a lot more to come." I said to her, leaning against a tree and looking to where Hanone had left.
"I wish I could find love like you do." said Mary, pulling a bird nest out of her hair.
"Well, you will. I'm sure of it." I answered.

"Dammit all!" screamed Theresa. "YOU TOLD ME TELETUBBIES WERE INVINCIBLE!!!" she yelled to her Klingon/Janga Fet advisor. "I'm sorry, mi lord. But I did not realize she possesed teh mighty michigan lottery knife!" he screamed, cowering in fear before Theresa's might powers. "You are useless to me!" she screamed, then sent her crystal ball flying at him and it ate him up. "Now, I need a new advisor." she mumbled as she replaced her all seeing crystal ball back on the table from whence it came. "I belive I can be of service." Said a deep satan like voice. Theresa turned around smilling. "Good of you to come to my aid, Satan." said Theresa. "Always obliged, madame." he answered, bowing low.

We continued walking through the forest, unaware of the new advisor Theresa had managed to get and we were soon confronted by a skinny man....who looked like.... "OMG IS THAT!?!?" yelled Mary, pointing. "I think...it is..." said elyse, squinting her eyes. "Well, whatever it is, its making my hormones rampage!" yelled Amy. "Smells hot!" screamed corey, who had been silent for awhile and now was finally speaking again. He had a fight with Amy over which people were hot and he went on a no talking protest. "Hn...better not be another ex boyfriend." sesshomaru said sarcastically. I punched him in the stomach, causing him to double over in pain. The skinny man walked towards us and I swear to god he looked exactly like Jimmy Page. "Holy shit...that dude looks like Jimmy Page." said Mary, her eyes turning into hearts. "Hi...I'm Jimmy Page Lookalike...and you must be something out of a fairy tale!" he yelled at mary. Mary nodded at him, then hugged him. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!!?" she yelled happily. Mary had finally found herself a boy toy and it looked like Jimmy Page, imagine that.

ok, I hope you all liked this one...i know the fight scene and the enemies were lacking, but thats because I had no inspiration from the TV cuz its not on....so, I apologize for that crap. But the next story should be better...hopefully. SO enjoy all!