Chapter: The next boyfriend on the list of many....plus a special appearance and no enemies this time...or are there?!!?!?

Ok, so now that I have my new laptop, i will be updating again. It was getting too hectic trying to update with my parents comp cuz theirs sux ass. But now that mine rox ass, i will be updating now.

"Hey. Rachel...we've been walking for hours and me and Jimmy Page Look-Alike haven't fucked for nearly two hours...can we please stop???" screamed Mary, frustrated from the lack of sex. "I remember when we used to be like that..." Sesshomaru muttered, looking longingly at me. "Yea, well, you better forget it. AND MARY I TOLD YOU WE'RE NOT STOPPING UNTIL NIGHTFALL!!!" I screamed back at Mary, then threw a rock at her. "Glug glug glug..." said the Chocolate Factory Fondu. "Oh, you do have a way with words..." Amy cooed, stroking his masculine pot. We walked on with Mary complaining, Sesshomaru making references to our history, Amy giggling at whatever Chocolate Facotory was saying. Finally night approached and I couldn't be happier to lose everbody and go take a bath in the stream by myself. As I bathed, pandemonium was breaking out back at camp. "I sweat I saw him!!!" yelled Elyse to Corey, who was having another pissy fit. "You just don't want to accept me as your better!!! i never saw him!!!" yelled Corey, adjusting his gian Elton John glasses. "GOD DAMMIT!!! I'M TRYING TO TAKE A BATH!!" I yelled back to the camp area. They were all soooo loud. "Hm...i remember when I used to see you naked all the time." said a voice that i immediatly recognized as Hanone's. "What do you want, you horny bastard?" I asked, getting up and wrapping a towel around my body. "Only you." he answered, smirking. "Kiss my fat arse, lecher." I said, flipping him off while chaning back into my clothes. No use in being modest, he'd seen me naked a million times. I rolled my eyes at him, then walked back to the camp. What I saw amazed me and made me rethink everything i was currently thinking, which was basically nothing.
"Phil!!!! Stop hurting them!!" yelled Elyse, crying. Phil had Mary by her neck and was strangling her whild stomping on Jimmy Page Look Alike's body. "Elyse!! He's being possessed!!" I yelled, noting that his eyes were pitch black. "Ah, so you are a smart one." said Theresa, walking out from the shadows. "Let him go you hardcore bitch!!" yelled Elyse, punching Theresa in the face. Phil turned towards Elyse and charged at her, pulling out a concealed weapon. "ELYSE!!" I screamed pushing her out of the way, taking the stabbing from Phil. "RACHEL!!!" screamed Hanone, Sesshomaru, and a third voice. "Who the fuck are you!?!?" yelled Sesshomaru turning to the new comer. "I am Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood." "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW RACHEL!?!?!" Hanone screamed, completely ignoring the fact that Phil was attacking Elyse and that I was dying. "She used to be my steady girlfriend." Sesshomaru rolled his eyes, then lightly kicked me. "You'll get over it." he said, not giving me a second thought. Eventually, I was able to pull myself up with the help of a well placed spiked club, which i used to beat phil over the head with and the demon within him flew out and back to Theresa, cowering. "W-where am I?" he asked, rubbing his bleeding head. "PHIL!!" Elyse screamed, hugging him. "Well thats one death avoided..." i muttered, turning towards where I saw Legolas. "What're you doing here?" I yelled, starting to get nervouse. "Waiting for you to return, like you promised." he answered, smiling. "Um, about that you see...I uh..." I tied to spit it out, but i couldn't. Truthfully, i had left Legolas, promising to return....that spring break was where I met my final Love, Jake and well, i forgot about legolas. "I don't care that you made me wait years, as long as we're together now!" he said, hugging me. "Legolas, i left you. I'm engaged to someone else now!" I yelled, pushing him away. "Oh, OK!" he said, then left to go back to his kingdom, secretly crying. "WEll, onwards we go to finish our mission and restore Jake to his proper throne as Rachel's Fiancee!" yelled Corey, pissed that Legolas had left. "Don't worry Corey, i've got some more boyfriends that look exactly like him and would love to have an awkward orange boy for a boyfriend." I said, giving him a reassuring smile. "Really?"he said, looking hopeful. "Yup!" i answered, placing my hand in Sesshomaru's....wait...did I just? Shit, I'm falling back into old habits...but this is kinda...nice...well, there is always room for a mistress, i guess. I thought as we continued walking int he direction that Jake went with his captor.

yes, this one is obscenely short...but its an update none the less...i ran out of ideas...so yea...sorry corey and elyse..you won't be cadonkadoning yet...or maybe ever....hmmm...it all depends on what i feel like.

Chapter 8: TFAK vs. The Chocolate Factory...love for amy? and another sex video.

well, here it is. Amy was wanting to know when she would find love and it is in THIS HERE CHAPTER!!! feeeeellll the love, amy...feel it!!!! and enjoy my pretties.

Me and Sesshomaru were way ahead of the group. After travelling with the same people for such a long time, you get sick of them. This is what I missed about Sesshomaru. I enjoyed travelling with him. Mary was too busy with Jimmy Page Look-Alike and Amy kept trying to hit on Sesshomaru and kept asking questions about Hanone. Corey was constantly having hissy fits, Elyse was just too smart for her own good, and Alexis.....come to think of it, where was alexis?
"Sesshomaru....have you seen Alexis?" I asked suddenly, aware that I had not seen her for quite awhile. "No...last I saw her she was drowining."
"Oh, ok. Hope she had a nice life." I said, sighing. She never really did anything for TFAK anyways, so the loss wasn't that great. We continued walking, our friends hardly noticing our absence. All of a sudden we came to a clearing in the forest.
"This is odd..." said Sesshomaru, looking around. Before I could answer and loud thump was heard echoing throughout the woods. A glass of water resting on a stump started rippling, just like Jurassica Park.
"Sesshomaru, what is it?" i asked, hand on the hilt of one of my many swords.
"I don't know...its smells...likee....." he said, sniffing the air, "Chocolate." he finsihed. I gave him a weird look.
"Chocolate? what the fucking hell?" i asked, my hand dropping from the hilt of the sword. We had never ever encountered a chocolate enemy....unless it was....no, it couldn't be.
"Hey!! Whats that noise!?!?" screamed Amy, running up to Sesshomaru and I followed by the remainder of TFAK.
"I don't know..." I lied, they didn't need to know about THAT spring break. "Sesshomaru says it smells like chocolate." I said, looking away in the distance as the memories came back.

*Flashback to THAT spring Break*
"Well, hey there sweet chica..." said smooth talking stud. He was taller and a bit chunky, but damn he tasted like heaven.
"Hey, can I tape this?" he asked before we did the nasty. I nodded and he set up the video camera. I wasn't too worried cuz this wasn't the first spring break sex tape I'd ever made and quite frankly, i felt that being a porn star was in my blood. Well, the heavenly stud had me that night and I've never regretted it...until now.
*end Flashback*

As I finished up the thought, everyone was staring at me. "Did I just flashback outloud?" i asked, turning red from embarassment. Everyone nodded. Sesshomaru just stared blankly at me.
"How many sex tapes do you have?!?" he asked, his eyes turning red with anger. I had been with him the longest and only had 2 spring breaks away from him...so that meant a lot of cheating. "I was drunk...mostly...well, for the tapes that weren't ours or with Jake." i said, hoping that he'd buy the lie, which he did. "Oh, ok, thats acceptable."

"RACHEL!!!" boomed a gurgling voice. He did have a way with words..... as I turned toward the voice a giant Chocolate Factory double boiler came out of the trees.
"Shit..." i muttered. It was him. I turned to the others, about to explain why I had a sex tape with a giant chocolate double boiler, when I saw amy's eyes go wide. "Whos that handsome stud? He smells heavenly....." she swooned. Maybe, we didn't have to fight and we just had to sacrifice amy! That would be an excellent way to go, because Amy was getting annoying with all her hormones.
"Jimmy Page Look Alike... DUCK!!!" I yelled as a chocolate covered strawberry shot out of the double boiler. There was no time to negotiate now. Fighting was upon us and we had to do everything to win.

Theresa laughed an evil laugh as she watched from a tree. The battle was going swimmingly. THe Double Boiler proved to be a formidable opponent and it tasted good at the same time. "I told you chocolate was their downfall..." Satan said, grinning. "I think your're my best advisore yet." Theresa hissed, her beady eyes full of love for Satan.

The double boiler kept fireing all kinds of chocolate dunked foods at us and it was getting harder and harder to dodge them. "RACHEL!!" Screamed Sesshomaru as a piece of chocolate covered watermelon came flying towards me. He jumped in front of it, taking the blow. He was uninjured as he was a very powerful demon. "Thanks..." i said, blushing. Sesshomaru really knew how to charm a girl's heart. Amy then ran towards it, screaming. "I LOVE YOU!!!!" the double boiler turned towards her and Hearts appeared where there should be eyes. "Where have you been all my life, you great hunk of ass!" yelled the double boiler, reducing its size to a human sized double boiler. "I've been waiting for you, righ there." She said, pointing over to the rock where she had been standing for most of the battle. Then, her and the chocolate fondu shared a passionate kiss. Amy had finally found the love she was looking for.

Corey and Elyse broke out in tears of joy...well Elyse did, Corey cried because he thought that he'd had a chance with the chocolate double boiler. After a bit, we all continued on our way to find Jake...but wasI falling for Sesshomaru all over again???? This couldn't be happening. Why does this always happen to me?!?!?


"GOD DAMMIT!!!" screamed Theresa as her and Satan poofed back into her giant castle. "I'm sorry I didn't forsee this....i never expected him to fall in love. I just thought he was a horny pot...but apparently he is capable of love...as am I." Said Satan, giving Theresa a seductive grin. "Eh...Well, I"m incapable of love..." she said, sounding nervous. Was theresa really incapapble of love? We may never know until I decide.

So thar ya have it. Its part 8. Amy has love and Theresa could be falling for Satan! Plus A jealous Corey...what could this lead to??!?!!? AND!!! how will elyse survive without phil admist all the love!!??! And why is Rachel falling for Sesshomaru when she has Jake??!?!? All these questions and more will be answered as the story unfolds.

Chapeter 7: Secrets revealed...next foe and!!!!!!! another ex-beau....could things get nemore interesting...plus love for a memeber of TFAK!

Well, my lovely dears...i've been holding this off for Mary and Amy because I didn't want them getting to behind. So now, they are here and I can continue my story. Love to all of you with last chapters great sucess. Thank you so much. I would like to thank the academy, god, my friends and family....

It had been a few days since our last battle, and I imagine that its because of this we became careless. Sesshomaru was still jealous of me and Jake, but slowly he was beginning to accept the fate that was to become us. Amy would not leave him alone and I felt bad for him. Who would want some ugly thing hitting on them? I wouldn't. Well, Amy will have her chance with someone, I'm sure. There has to be something in the world that could tolerate her and her braided armpit hair. We were setting up camp by a stream and I decided to go for a walk. I hadn't told anybody about who I really was or anything of that nature and it was getting harder to conceal it. "At the rate I'm going with all my ex boyfriends, I should end up meeting with...Him...my first love..." i thought as I splashed my face with water. When I did so, I smelled fresh blood in the air.
"Oh...shit...." I muttered, getting up and getting ready to defend myself. "WHOOOO ARE YOU!?!? WHO WHO WHO WHO???" I sang into the air, hoping that if it was a vampire, they'd run away because I was not in the mood for such reunions. Unfortunatly for me, I was wrong and a very handsome vampire came out of the brush with blood falling over his lips. He had on late 1700s clothing and his hair was long and blond. He reminded me of Lestat from Interview With the Vampire, but I knew that was not him. This vampire was Hanone, one of my greatest loves.
"K-Katsueki?" he asked, wiping the blood on his shirt sleeve. I nodded as I stared at him, he was exactly as I had remembered him all those years ago.
"I didn't think I'd run into you so soon." I said to him, dropping my defenses. Unfortunatly, Hanone didn't share the same sympathies as I did. He lunged at me, pinning me to a tree.
"You bitch!!! You dumped me for that god damned dog demon!!!! Are you two all husband wife-y now?!??!" he yelled, squeezing my neck as if it were a blade of grass.
"No!!! I broke up with him and...I'm engaged to someone else!" i said in a rush as my oxygen was being cut off. He suddenly dropped me and stared at me.
"You have broken the ancient code!!! you are NOT supposed to marry a human!!!" he yelled at me. "Do you know that THEY COULD KILL YOU FOR THIS!?!?" he was now no longer angry, he seemed concerned.
"I know...i've been in hiding. I changed my name to Rachel and I had fully planned on making Jake into a vampire when we were wed...but... until then, you must not breathe a word about me." I whispered, grabbing his arm.
"I will. I still love you, ya know. I'll do anything to protect you." He then kissed me on the lips and I pushed him back. The last time this happened, I ended up drunk and sexed up by someone who I wasn't even supposed to have met up with again(Sesshomaru).
"Don't...." i said. He nodded and then sniffed the air.
"I smell an enemy. You better be going back to the others. They will need you. We shall meet again, my fair lady." he said, bowing and kissing my hand. He then disappeared into the wind. I sighed and walked back to the camp. I missed him a lot sometimes, but Jake, he was my future now. No sooner had I returned to the camp sight than I saw what Hanone was speaking of.
"OMG!! RACHEL YOU'RE BACK!!!" yelled Amy as she dodged an attack from some of the most vile creatures on the planet. They were.....TELETUBBIES!!!
"Shit fuck!" I yelled as I pulled out the only weapon that I knew could truly vanquish the brainswashing fat lards, my ancient knife of the michigan lottery. I slashed at everything in my path, almost killing corey who was using his girlish scream attack to distract them while i stabbed them. Finally the only one left was the gay one, Tinky-Winky.
"You are no match for me and my fab handbag!" he said in a girly voice while he swung the handbag over his head. It was picking up speed and I couldn't keep track of it anymore and I was struck down by it. Just as Tinky-Winky was about to deliver the final blow, something stopped it and took the blow for me. I smelled the musty scent and knew who it was.
"HANONE!!!" I yelled as he fell to the ground.
"Do not worry, love!" he yelled, pushing me aside. "I'm better now!!" He then ran away into the trees
"Who was that great hunk of ass?" asked Amy, licking her chops.
"Nobody you'd wanna get mixed up with." I answered her, pushing her aside. Sesshomaru was looking betrayed.
"HEY! I dumped him for you, just so you know you ungrateful bastard." I yelled to sesshomaru as I walked by him.
"HOW MANY FUCKING EX BOYFRIENDS DO WE HAVE TO MEET!?!?" screamed Mary, obviously upset.
"As many as it takes, I guess. And believe me, there are a lot more to come." I said to her, leaning against a tree and looking to where Hanone had left.
"I wish I could find love like you do." said Mary, pulling a bird nest out of her hair.
"Well, you will. I'm sure of it." I answered.

"Dammit all!" screamed Theresa. "YOU TOLD ME TELETUBBIES WERE INVINCIBLE!!!" she yelled to her Klingon/Janga Fet advisor. "I'm sorry, mi lord. But I did not realize she possesed teh mighty michigan lottery knife!" he screamed, cowering in fear before Theresa's might powers. "You are useless to me!" she screamed, then sent her crystal ball flying at him and it ate him up. "Now, I need a new advisor." she mumbled as she replaced her all seeing crystal ball back on the table from whence it came. "I belive I can be of service." Said a deep satan like voice. Theresa turned around smilling. "Good of you to come to my aid, Satan." said Theresa. "Always obliged, madame." he answered, bowing low.

We continued walking through the forest, unaware of the new advisor Theresa had managed to get and we were soon confronted by a skinny man....who looked like.... "OMG IS THAT!?!?" yelled Mary, pointing. "I think...it is..." said elyse, squinting her eyes. "Well, whatever it is, its making my hormones rampage!" yelled Amy. "Smells hot!" screamed corey, who had been silent for awhile and now was finally speaking again. He had a fight with Amy over which people were hot and he went on a no talking protest. "Hn...better not be another ex boyfriend." sesshomaru said sarcastically. I punched him in the stomach, causing him to double over in pain. The skinny man walked towards us and I swear to god he looked exactly like Jimmy Page. "Holy shit...that dude looks like Jimmy Page." said Mary, her eyes turning into hearts. "Hi...I'm Jimmy Page Lookalike...and you must be something out of a fairy tale!" he yelled at mary. Mary nodded at him, then hugged him. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!!?" she yelled happily. Mary had finally found herself a boy toy and it looked like Jimmy Page, imagine that.

ok, I hope you all liked this one...i know the fight scene and the enemies were lacking, but thats because I had no inspiration from the TV cuz its not on....so, I apologize for that crap. But the next story should be better...hopefully. SO enjoy all!