Chapter 1: Exploring the Land...er city...whats that animal you see? i don't know, but it can't be good.

Well, i've done it. Its a new story...and its not gonna be a sequal...cuz i loved my other one and the deaths should end it exactly where it is. Instead, i'm creating a new story with a new "killer".

Our story begins with three young explorers. Rachel Skywalker, Jedi Master; Corey, a simple farmer; and Elyse, the whore of Rhode Island. They had been friends for many years and had finally taken that trip they had been planning since the day they were born; they were out to explore the uncharted streets of New York.
"I sense a presence..." Rachel murmered.
"WHAT?!?" screamed Corey. Over the course of years of being a farmer he had lost his hearing from the loud dirt that he had growing on his farm.
"She senses a presence!!" screamed Elsye, pulling up her ultra mini skirt...having just shagged a particularly hot old man. "What do you sense, oh sexy one?" she said, stroking Rachel's arm.
"Elyse, it was only one night...but anyways, i sense a disturbance in the Force. I haven't felt this since...no, it can't be..." she finished, shaking her head and continuing on.
"Well, that was a crock of shit. i thought we were on to something." said Corey as he tripped over a hobo.
"COREY!! You've found it!" screamed Elyse.
"Found what?" asked Corey, as he kicked the hobo for being in his way.
"You've found the hottest hobo ever!" she said, then continued to shag the hobo.
"Elyse, we must be going...we didn't come here to watch you shag random people. We are explorers now!" said Rachel, beating Elyse with her light saber.
"Hm...well, you may have changed but I haven't!! I still am the Whore of Rhode Island!" screamed Elyse, stomping off into the distance.
"Slut..." Rachel muttered, following after her. Corey stared at Elyse longingly. His farmer wife, frumpy Amy as she was often called, wasn't getting into bed with him any more and Corey knew that elyse wouldn't care as long as she got a good fucking, she'd be happy. The perfect match for him.
"You coming?" called Rachel, throwing a trash bag at him.
"Yea..." he said dreamily as he sauntered after the two women. After many many hours of walking and no luck in discovering any new wildlife, they came upon a pier.
"might as well stop here for a bit..." said Elyse, sitting down and taking off her skirt and shirt. Corey stared at her like he'd never seen a real woman in his entire life. But who could blame him? Frumpy Amy was harldy a woman as it was.
"OMG!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ANIMAL THAT YOU SEE!?!?" screamed Elyse, jumping up from her state of ectasy if you get my drift....
"I don't know what it is, but it can't be good thats for sure." Said Rachel, standing up and looking in the direction of the large animal.

*Gasp* what is that large animal??? Why is this chapter so short??? well, i can answer the second...my hand hurts...so, its short...but the next will be out either tomorrow or tuesday...
love me!

Chapter 10: TFAK reduced to Three members...who will live, who dies....PLUS!! Vampire Mystery sloved PLUS the conclusion of the hobo way of life

Yes, i understand how unreasonably late...and sad this is...but i have come to the conclusion that members of TFAK and their significant others (if they are so blessed with them) will die. And the members who die...its nothing personal, but your stories weren't interesting enough to continue.

It had been at least a week before we saw anymore action. That day...we confronted our second ultimate enemy. The Sandman was his name. No, I had no sexual relations with this man...he was a regular run of the mill enemy. We fought long and hard on that battle, but we had lost some of our greatest TFAK members....
Mary and her Jimmy boy....god, we'll miss the moaning at night...
Amy...and her chocolate factory...oh how we will long for the chocolate.
and then Sesshy died from heart disease.
THis left me, elyse, and Corey. We continued walking until we met up with a boy...who said his name was Crave the Wave.
"OMG!! I LOVE YOU!!!" Yelled Corey, who was becoming fed up with being a high hobo priest. It was then that corey became a man...and broke his vow of the sacred hobo...killing all hobos save for one. And thus he ended the hobo tradition of life with one thrust of manhood. Elyse...well, Elyse just missed Phil. We had lost him along the way when he stopped to take a piss in the bushes and we hadn't seen him since.

We had been walking for a while, when we entered a forest...stained blood red. It was then that I met up with Hanone.
"Rachel, my love." he said.
"Hanone...my EX and soon to be dead ex..." i said, then I stabbed him with a wooden stake.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!!?" screamed Corey, upset.
"Well, I'm not actually a vampire...i'm a vampire slayer...it was all just a ploy to get to him..he was of course a powerful vampire." i replied, then continued walking in the direction of which I knew Jake would be. After many days we reached a small run down shack...otherwise known as corey's house.
"What the hell..." muttered Elyse. Whoever the Serial Killer was....they lived in Corey's house...meaning that it was most likely a woman.
"Oh, fuck...so...this whoel time we coudl've just gone to my house and we wouldn't have spent all these days travelling around farmington hills???" screamed Corey. I shrugged, obviously someone wanted to fuck with our minds. We entered his house and we were met by sinister laughter....
"Theresa..."i muttere as she appeared.
"Ah yes...its me..." she grinned.
"You know...this isn't funny....you bitch." said elyse, pulling out a gun and shooting her.
"Well....that was a let down..." i commented.
"Not quite..." said a voice...and i turned around and saw....Corey's Dad.
"YOU'RE THE KILELR?!?!" i screamed
"The same." he said. It was then that i noticed Jake tied up behind him. I charged at Corey's dad with my red sword of flames and said the magical words "Shopgirl" and then the sword turned green and killed corey's dad, thus ending years of torture to a society once fearing the game HIde and Go Seek. I ran to jake and untied him.
"Oh my...your alright..." i said hugging him.
"Yea..." he muttered as he hugged me tighter.
"Good show old chaps." said a voice that i recognized as Gwindor. He walked towards me and Jake, running his fingers through Jakes hair.
"aren't you supposed to be dead?" asked COrey, remembering that he had destroyed the hobo race.
"I would be, COrey, but I was not a real hobo...I was an imposter." he said, then pulled out a gun and shot Corey, but was blocked by...a mysterious shadow...
"CRAVE THE WAVE!!" yelled COrey, kneeling over the body of his first and sure to be only sexual experiance.
"I did it for you!" he yelle,d then Crave THe Wave Died. Corey, in a fit of Rage ran towards Gwindor and slew him with his bare...dirt encrusted...scarred up hands.

SO, as you might've guessed me and Jake got married....Elyse met up with Phil...but they both died shortly after of Heart Attacks from seeing each other. Corey, well, Corey is now working on forming a new hobo cult...one that worships him and his savior Crave The Wave. And there ends the epic that was TFAK and the Serial Killer With A Long Name.


THE END!!!!!!